Tuesday, July 6, 2010

I am woman, hear me whimper like a little bitch.

Seriously, guys...no, I mean ladies...the p word. It came yesterday. Yes, yes, my period. And while this may be TMI for you, I assure you my period really sucks and I deserve the chance to bitch about it. I cannot be a functioning woman when I'm on my period without the assistance of Darvocet. Before I got pregnant with Tubs, I was one of the "lucky" ones. I'd get my period, put a tampon in, change it every few hours, but other than that, I wouldn't feel any different. I didn't get cramps or the weird mood swings or anything like that. Well, except for the week BEFORE my period, but it wasn't mood swings...I'd just have the appetite of a horse that hasn't eaten in a few millennia. This could be why I need to lose some weight. But I don't care about weight at ALL right now.

Anyway, ever since giving birth to Tubs, my periods are comparable to mid-labor (I'm talking 5 to 6 cm dilated) contractions. Yes, it's that bad. No, I can't do anything but whine and cry and curl up on the couch...unless I take my Darvocet. Which, let me tell you, is a miracle drug because it really takes the pain away, but doesn't leave me high and loopy as Lor-Tab does (which I discovered when I had my gallbladder removed in October 2009).

After I had Tubs and my first period came and it was all crampy and death-lied, I figured it was because my uterus had just acquired a scar it was not used to having and would feel better the next period around. The next period came and it was still awful. I called my ob/gyn's office screaming and crying in pain. The staff was concerned but said they did not want to ask the doctor to prescribe a pain pill, because it would just cover up the pain, not find out what the real problem is, so they set me up an "emergency" appointment. A lot of good that did. He did an exam, changed my birth control, and gave me OTC Motrin. Thank you very much. I've already taken the Motrin today and I'm still here. He wanted me back after my next period to see how it went.

The next one came and despite being on a new birth control pill and Motrin, my uterus was still feeling like it would explode open at any given moment. So, I went back in. Same freaking thing. Exam, changed my birth control, and gave me OTC Motrin. I was pissed. SO, I decided to kind of take matters into my own hands and see if it was actually birth control that was messing me up. Since my doctor wasn't doing anything, I had to, right? I didn't take the birth control, resorted to condoms (Which, my husband really hates. He says it's like trying to eat a steak with a balloon on your tongue. I'm glad he compares my girly bits to steak. That can either be considered a huge compliment, or a real insult. I'll take it as a compliment.) for an entire cycle, and decided to see how it went with that.

Well, my plan kind of sucked because I still had a bad period. I gave up on my doctor and decided to just deal with it. A couple periods later, I had a REALLY bad one. The worst ever. I woke up pretty much unable to move. Bawling my eyes out, I called my sister and asked her to come over because I honest to God could not take care of Tubs. Once she arrived at my house, I called my doctor's office demanding to be seen. I REALLY could not handle this. The office nurse got on the line and she was so nice and filled me with hope that something would really, finally, for once be taken care of. They put me on the schedule and I came in in a lot of pain, but hopeful. Well, hope sucks because the SAME THING. Exam. Change of birth control. Motrin. DOCTOR, YOU SUCK! I liked you as an OB but I really don't like you as the GYN!

I gave up on him and went to my regular doctor. I've yet to find out the cause of my pain, but at least I have pain medicine. She figures that right now, it's really just because your cycle completely resets itself after you have a baby and I'm doomed to this period until my next one comes. Then it'll change or stay the same. And if it stays the same, then we'll go from there. Because all my exams and pap smears come back normal, and so far, so has an ultrasound.

So whatever. My morning was spent feeling craptastically crampy. But my grandparents just came in from Florida and I had to go meet them for lunch, and I didn't want to take a Darvocet until after the lunch, because while it doesn't make me feeling all weird and loopy, it does take my appetite away. After lunch, I got home and Tubs was ready for a nap. So I laid him down, took a pill, and laid down with a book (Along Came Trouble by Sherryl Woods, if you wanted to know) until it kicked in. Once it was kicked in, the pain was gone but it doesn't take that lazy feeling away. So I stayed lazy. Today's "Tackle It Tuesday" was making my house a mess. Not me, specifically, but a 17 month old that I had no desire to pick up after all day. So, I didn't. This is my one time of the month in which I can blame just about anything on, so I used it as an excuse. But yes, I tackled making the house a mess today. Oh well.

After B came home from work, I was pain free, but that doesn't mean I wasn't hot. It's been in the mid to high 90's for the past few days and Erica can't be kept at those temperatures. So, we went to my Mom's house to go for a swim and it was really nice. Tubs is so adorable in the pool. Well, he's always adorable, but he really loves the pool, as long as you hold him...tightly. And I did. And I loved every single second of it because he isn't much of a cuddler, he likes to run and explore. So when the rare opportunity presents itself to just hold on to him and love him to death, I take full advantage of it.

After swimming, we went to Zack's Hot Dogs. Anyone ever heard of them? No? Go here...to their site. This place is pretty nifty. Their main focus is hot dogs...all kinds of hot dogs (go look at the menu on their site...who would ever dream up so many different types of hot dogs?!). And for an extra $3, you get a pop and like...2 pounds of fries. I kid you not. Now, before you look at these pictures and tell me that I'm an awful mom and my kid should be only eating veggies...I should have you know that my son absolutely loves peas more than just about anything out there (other than me, of course) and definitely gets his daily quota. But there is nothing wrong with digging in to a little guilty pleasure every so often. And he really wasn't that hungry so he didn't have that many fries. Aside from the fries, the hot dogs are really, really good. I'm quite a guilty fan of hot dogs, unfortunately, but I'm pretty sure even those who don't enjoy hot dogs very much would find them to be absolutely delicious.

So, I guess it's really nothing special. But it's painted! Not a wall sticker or something. That's pretty sweet.

This is a basket of fries. And even the picture doesn't do it justice, really. This pile is huge. It'd be easier to tell if pictures were 3D. Holy fries, people.

This was B's hot dog. It's called The Texas. He thoroughly enjoyed it. I didn't think to take a picture of mine, but I got a Bacon and Cheddar. It's a delicious hot dog wrapped in melted cheddar and bacon, served on a deliciously soft and moist bun. It was also thoroughly enjoyed.

Pickin' at the fries. He really was mostly playing with them. I mean, who wouldn't, right? Not many people know what to do when hundreds, perhaps even thousands, of fries are put in front of you? I imagine he thought they were toys. Either way, he ate a few, but mostly played with them. He also said Hi and Bye to every single person that walked through the door. He's quite a social creature.

Anyway, I probably have a lot more I could say. I know I do, actually, because I do spend a lot of my time thinking about what I'll write about each day, and I usually come up with billions of things to talk about. And most are actually probably more interesting than my period, but I needed to vent. haha So thank you for letting me vent, hope your periods are much more tolerable than mine, and have a good night. We'll see y'all soon!!

P.S. Pinot Grigio has changed a little bit! Still Arbor Mist Pinot Grigio...but I discovered another flavor...White Pear...and right now, it's taken the #1 spot over Island Fruits...it's SO GOOD!

Sunday, July 4, 2010

50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind

I've always wanted to do this. It's the 4th of July, which means I can't sleep due to excessive amounts of fireworks going off in every direction. I'd be outside watching them, except there is this HUGE tree in front of my balcony that pretty much destroys the view. We did make a point to watch some though. There's a soccer field right across the street, so we grabbed some fold-up chairs and carried them over there and watched our 2nd firework's display with Tubs. Only this year, he could actually really enjoy them. Last year he was still too little to really know what was going on. It was really awesome to see him get all excited any time one would light up the sky. He'd point and babble and kick his legs. It was awesome. Seriously, yo.

ANYWAY, back to this. I've always wanted to do this, as I said previously. I'm not going to actually answer all 50 right now. But the first 10 would be neat. And then I'll add an additional 10 whenever I feel like it. Woo, right? And if you feel like answering these questions yourself, well, go right to Marc and Angel Hack Life and get the questions!

As their website says "These questions have no right or wrong answers. Because sometimes asking the right questions is the answer.". That's deep. I like deep. So here I go...
1. How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?
The first question and I'm already stumped. I suppose this would really depend on my mood and what's going on. Sometimes I act like a 5 year old. Sometimes I act like an 80 year old. Sometimes I act my age. Most of the time though, I act a little older than my actual age. Not because I'm lame and boring (or at least, I hope not!), but because I'm quite young, by society's standards, to be married and have a child. Most of the people I know that are my age and single, childless, and going out and partying all the time. But back to the question...I'd say my average age, if I did not know my actual age, would be...uhh...25. Yeah, 25 sounds good! That and it's like my favorite number.

2. Which is worse, failing or never trying?
Never trying! You can't even possibly know if you haven't even tried! Try anything. There's a lot of things that you can try and not even fail at. There are lots of things that you can try and fail at, and try again and succeed. And sometimes, you'll try and fail and will always fail at that...but that doesn't mean life is over. I fail at math (more specifically, algebra!), and always have and always will, no matter how much I try. Because I've tried. And tried. And TRIED. But trust me, I don't lose any sleep over that. At least I know that I really have honestly tried to get a good grasp at it. And at the end of the day, I've tried and succeeded at a great many things...and I have a ton more things to try throughout the rest of my life!

3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don't like and like so many things we don't do?
I think that, for me, the biggest reason why I do things I don't like, and don't do things I do like can pretty much be blamed on finances. Unfortunately, there are a great many financial obligations in this world, and being a stay-at-home Mom, we really have to pinch and stretch our pennies. Which can really hinder our ability to do more things that we enjoy. But we (as in my husband and I) try to stay optimistic (because sometimes it gets a little depressing) and think that if we stay strict with our "entertainment" for the next few years, the years after that will be filled all sorts of fun trips and vacations and all sorts of fun, awesome things.

4. When it's all said and done, will you have said more than you've done?
At this point, if it were to be all said and done right now, then yes, I'll have said more than done. But I have a lot of hopes and dreams and goals, and I do plan on accomplishing most, if not all, of them. So hopefully when it's REALLY all said and done, I'll definitely have done.

5. What is one thing you'd most like to change about the world?
One thing, really? I can only pick one thing?! I suppose if I really can only pick ONE thing, as cliche as it is, I'd really advocate WORLD PEACE. Seriously, peoples. We do not need to be mean to each other. To steal. To kill. To hate. To shame. To embarrass. We don't need ANY of that. I think A LOT. And something I've always thought about for as long as I can remember (since the elementary days!) is that every single person in this entire world is connected. Think about it. You know somebody, who knows somebody, who knows somebody, who knows somebody...on and on and on. Eventually, we all know EVERYBODY through people we know. So essentially, by association, we know everybody. Why kill your friend's friend? Why steal from your family's family? Why curse your best friend's Uncle's Cousin's best friend's neice's father's brother's friend's neighor's boss? Why? So yes, I would definitely make it so that everybody loves everybody. We'd accept each other's differences and all be happy and peaceful. I know that it's a lot more complicated then that, but if I could change something, that really is what I would change. I'm all about peace, love and happiness, baby.

6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?
I really need to answer this question. Soon. The pressure is ON. I've got to get back to college and get my degree soon. I stopped mid-way when I got pregnant and married and all of that stuff. I didn't stop just because I got pregnant, I stopped because I still have no idea what I would really like to do, other than be a stay-at-home Mom. Regardless of if I ever use my degree, I do want my degree as a back up in case, God forbid, it's just me and my kid(s) and I have to support them myself. Of all the majors I have considered, income potential has not been a deciding factor in any of my considerations, because I can't do work that I don't enjoy. The problem is, there are A LOT of things I really would love to do. Photography, journalism, law (more specifically, constitutional law), baking (also more specifically, making cakes!), psychology, criminal profiler, fashion designer, interior designer, graphic design, english/history teacher, veterinarian...all sorts of things. All I know is that I want to be creative, but I also want to help people if I can. Right now, I'm leaning towards photography because I can be creative and I think that photography can really move people sometimes. Inspire people. All sorts of things. But then, when it comes down to my REALLY big dreams...I dream of raising 6 beautiful children with my husband and running a dog rescue. I LOVE dogs. I'd do anything for any dog if I really could. But then you know how everyone talks about what they would do if they won the lottery? Yeah? Well, I'd love to feed all the starving. Give all the homeless people a house. Put clothes on people that don't have clothes. Provide education to those without access. Give proper health care to those that don't have it. So, I guess when it comes down it, if I REALLY could, I'd be super woman and save the world. And I still don't know what I want to get my degree in...but I have only a couple months to decide...because when I go back, it's time to pick my major.

7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?
I can say that what I do do, I believe in it. But there are also some things that I'm settling with. But I hope that's all only temporary. I'm young, so I hope that I have a great many years a head of me to accomplish every single thing that I want to do. If I am blessed with the ability to do all that I want to do, I am going to be a very busy woman some time in the hopefully near future.

8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently
This question really tugs at the heart strings. I want to say that I wouldn't live my life differently for a couple reasons. The first being that I love my son and my husband and my dog and all my family & friends and I wouldn't want to change a single thing. I think that if I went back in time, and changed even one single breath, nothing would be the same. Every thing we do has an effect on our life in someway, and most of the time, we don't know that effect right away. If I had simply decided not to go to my friend's graduation party on August 19th, 2005...I would not have met B, and therefore, I would not have him nor my son nor my dog...and those boys...they ARE my life. Making that ONE decision just to go to that party has greatly influenced my entire life. I mean, had I been really sick, or lazy, or something that night...my life would not be what it is today. So I think that I can honestly and confidently say I would not have lived my life any differently, because life without my boys and my family & friends would not be life. I couldn't imagine it any other way, and I wouldn't want it to be any other way, even if sometimes I think I would.

9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?
I think I've controlled all of it. I think we all do. This question kind of pertains to my answer in number 8....every single thought, choice, decision, anything of that nature, controls what happens in our life. Even if we don't see the impact it has made right away. As I said, I did not think that going to a friend's graduation party would get me married and knocked up, but it did. And that was such a simple decision to make. So yeah, to keep this answer from getting ridiculously long, even if we feel like we're out of control of our lives, we really never are.

10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?
Doing the right things. I don't even need a long answer for this, I do what I feel is right to myself, my family, my beliefs, my hopes and dreams, all of that.

Alright blogosphere, it is 1:30 am now, fireworks are done, and I tired. I have a wonderfully long day of going swimming at my mom's house tomorrow with my boys and I want to be awake and happy to enjoy and live in every single moment. Good night!

Friday, July 2, 2010

Sick with death.

3 entries into my new blog and I had to take a break. Not necessarily a voluntary break, but a break because I was sick with death. While fighting death, my beloved Pinot sat and chilled in my refridgerator. But Pinot and I are happily reunited tonight.

That being said, I don't know the real medical name for death. I'm waiting for my chest x-ray to come back. But I'm feeling a lot better. I mentioned in some of my previous posts that my sinuses were all clogged and my head felt like it was going to explode. So I thought it was simply another sinus infection. I woke up Wednesday feeling like a fish out of water. I was having a hard time breathing. My chest felt really tight and I was short of breath. But I took more generic store-bought sinus pills, used the nebulizer every 4 hours and tried my best to keep up my motherly responsibilities to Tubs and Ozzy. By the time B came home from work, I was bawling my eyes out and telling him I needed to go lay down. And he let me take it easy. I kept up my medicines and spend the rest of the day relaxing. I hardly got any sleep Wednesday night because I developed a cough. And not just a cough, a cough that came from the very depths of my lungs. It was a long, hard, deep, painfil cough that came in fits that lasted for what seemed to be forever. And it hurt SO BAD. And every time I was just about to finally sleep, a coughing fit would happen. When my husband woke up on Thursday morning, 15 minutes into getting ready for work, he declared "There is absolutely no way I can go in to work and leave you here to take care of Nathan. You sound like you're dying." and I felt like it, too. He called into work, let me lay down, and woke up with Nathan and took care of him all day. I decided that since the pills weren't working and neither were the breathing treatments with the nebulizer, I had to go to the doctor. So I called and made an appointment and went.

They had to do chest x-rays, which means I had to take my shirt and bra off. Fine. They took 2 x-rays, I got dressed, and was sent back to the room. 2 minutes later, the assistant came in again and said she needed to take the x-rays again because they came out too light. I could hardly breathe, but fine. Went back to the x-ray room, took my shirt and bra off again, and took the x-rays. I got dressed again, opened the door, and the assistant was there again saying "Nope, we have to do it again." SO, repeat. And another time. And then after 4 takes of my x-rays, I was finally, for the last time, sent back to my room. The x-rays had to be sent out to a radiologist, but in the meantime, the doctor prescribed me an inhaler, anti-biotics, told me to get Robitussin Max, and keep up the breathing treatments. She said if I got any worse, I'd have to go to the hospital. She was actually a bit surprised I hadn't already gone to the hospital, but growing up with asthma, I didn't think it was as severe as it was. But luckily, it didn't get worse. But I didn't feel any better at ALL yesterday. I spent my entire day in bed either reading "Murder of a Botoxed Blonde" or napping.

Murder of a Botoxed Blonde by Denise Swanson
The book was actually kind of slow in the beginning and had I not be so sick and unable to move, I probably would have put it down and grabbed a different book from my stash, but I'm glad I read it while I was sick and unable to move, because it ended up being pretty good! I like the title, though. It's catchy.

My lovely husband spent the entire day catering to Tubs, Ozzy, and I. And even though I was deathly ill (as I mentioned, it felt like death! Which is why I've called it death...until I find out what it is/was.), it was still pretty nice to just lay in bed for once.

I woke up this morning able to breathe. It was a nice relief. I still have the cough, though not as frequent, but MY COUGHING MUSCLES HURT SO BAD! I'm pretty sure that once my cough is completely gone, I will have a 6 pack. Which, I guess is a nice perk to the death that I have thus far survived.

The not so great part? B thinks he's getting it now. Which sucks. I really really really hope Tubs doesn't get it!

Because seriously, who would want to see this awesome guy all sickly? Not me! I love my happy, amazing, awesome, fantastic, entirely too well-behaved, handsome little man.

Also, my dog treat business to help cover the outrageous medical costs of Ozzy's eye suffered a little bit because of my being ill. I wasn't able to make it to the post office (or bake some of the treats! I'm going to have to bake my butt off this week!) and I feel so bad, so I sent an e-mail to all the purchasers apologizing for the delay and including a $5 store credit for any future purchases they may want to make. I'll write more about Ozzy's eye later. But I just feel so bad. OH well, what can ya do?

Anyways, I'm off for the night. Going to take my last dose of Robitussin for the night, as well as a breathing treatment, pick out another book from my stash, and lay down. Good night!