Tuesday, July 6, 2010

I am woman, hear me whimper like a little bitch.

Seriously, guys...no, I mean ladies...the p word. It came yesterday. Yes, yes, my period. And while this may be TMI for you, I assure you my period really sucks and I deserve the chance to bitch about it. I cannot be a functioning woman when I'm on my period without the assistance of Darvocet. Before I got pregnant with Tubs, I was one of the "lucky" ones. I'd get my period, put a tampon in, change it every few hours, but other than that, I wouldn't feel any different. I didn't get cramps or the weird mood swings or anything like that. Well, except for the week BEFORE my period, but it wasn't mood swings...I'd just have the appetite of a horse that hasn't eaten in a few millennia. This could be why I need to lose some weight. But I don't care about weight at ALL right now.

Anyway, ever since giving birth to Tubs, my periods are comparable to mid-labor (I'm talking 5 to 6 cm dilated) contractions. Yes, it's that bad. No, I can't do anything but whine and cry and curl up on the couch...unless I take my Darvocet. Which, let me tell you, is a miracle drug because it really takes the pain away, but doesn't leave me high and loopy as Lor-Tab does (which I discovered when I had my gallbladder removed in October 2009).

After I had Tubs and my first period came and it was all crampy and death-lied, I figured it was because my uterus had just acquired a scar it was not used to having and would feel better the next period around. The next period came and it was still awful. I called my ob/gyn's office screaming and crying in pain. The staff was concerned but said they did not want to ask the doctor to prescribe a pain pill, because it would just cover up the pain, not find out what the real problem is, so they set me up an "emergency" appointment. A lot of good that did. He did an exam, changed my birth control, and gave me OTC Motrin. Thank you very much. I've already taken the Motrin today and I'm still here. He wanted me back after my next period to see how it went.

The next one came and despite being on a new birth control pill and Motrin, my uterus was still feeling like it would explode open at any given moment. So, I went back in. Same freaking thing. Exam, changed my birth control, and gave me OTC Motrin. I was pissed. SO, I decided to kind of take matters into my own hands and see if it was actually birth control that was messing me up. Since my doctor wasn't doing anything, I had to, right? I didn't take the birth control, resorted to condoms (Which, my husband really hates. He says it's like trying to eat a steak with a balloon on your tongue. I'm glad he compares my girly bits to steak. That can either be considered a huge compliment, or a real insult. I'll take it as a compliment.) for an entire cycle, and decided to see how it went with that.

Well, my plan kind of sucked because I still had a bad period. I gave up on my doctor and decided to just deal with it. A couple periods later, I had a REALLY bad one. The worst ever. I woke up pretty much unable to move. Bawling my eyes out, I called my sister and asked her to come over because I honest to God could not take care of Tubs. Once she arrived at my house, I called my doctor's office demanding to be seen. I REALLY could not handle this. The office nurse got on the line and she was so nice and filled me with hope that something would really, finally, for once be taken care of. They put me on the schedule and I came in in a lot of pain, but hopeful. Well, hope sucks because the SAME THING. Exam. Change of birth control. Motrin. DOCTOR, YOU SUCK! I liked you as an OB but I really don't like you as the GYN!

I gave up on him and went to my regular doctor. I've yet to find out the cause of my pain, but at least I have pain medicine. She figures that right now, it's really just because your cycle completely resets itself after you have a baby and I'm doomed to this period until my next one comes. Then it'll change or stay the same. And if it stays the same, then we'll go from there. Because all my exams and pap smears come back normal, and so far, so has an ultrasound.

So whatever. My morning was spent feeling craptastically crampy. But my grandparents just came in from Florida and I had to go meet them for lunch, and I didn't want to take a Darvocet until after the lunch, because while it doesn't make me feeling all weird and loopy, it does take my appetite away. After lunch, I got home and Tubs was ready for a nap. So I laid him down, took a pill, and laid down with a book (Along Came Trouble by Sherryl Woods, if you wanted to know) until it kicked in. Once it was kicked in, the pain was gone but it doesn't take that lazy feeling away. So I stayed lazy. Today's "Tackle It Tuesday" was making my house a mess. Not me, specifically, but a 17 month old that I had no desire to pick up after all day. So, I didn't. This is my one time of the month in which I can blame just about anything on, so I used it as an excuse. But yes, I tackled making the house a mess today. Oh well.

After B came home from work, I was pain free, but that doesn't mean I wasn't hot. It's been in the mid to high 90's for the past few days and Erica can't be kept at those temperatures. So, we went to my Mom's house to go for a swim and it was really nice. Tubs is so adorable in the pool. Well, he's always adorable, but he really loves the pool, as long as you hold him...tightly. And I did. And I loved every single second of it because he isn't much of a cuddler, he likes to run and explore. So when the rare opportunity presents itself to just hold on to him and love him to death, I take full advantage of it.

After swimming, we went to Zack's Hot Dogs. Anyone ever heard of them? No? Go here...to their site. This place is pretty nifty. Their main focus is hot dogs...all kinds of hot dogs (go look at the menu on their site...who would ever dream up so many different types of hot dogs?!). And for an extra $3, you get a pop and like...2 pounds of fries. I kid you not. Now, before you look at these pictures and tell me that I'm an awful mom and my kid should be only eating veggies...I should have you know that my son absolutely loves peas more than just about anything out there (other than me, of course) and definitely gets his daily quota. But there is nothing wrong with digging in to a little guilty pleasure every so often. And he really wasn't that hungry so he didn't have that many fries. Aside from the fries, the hot dogs are really, really good. I'm quite a guilty fan of hot dogs, unfortunately, but I'm pretty sure even those who don't enjoy hot dogs very much would find them to be absolutely delicious.

So, I guess it's really nothing special. But it's painted! Not a wall sticker or something. That's pretty sweet.

This is a basket of fries. And even the picture doesn't do it justice, really. This pile is huge. It'd be easier to tell if pictures were 3D. Holy fries, people.

This was B's hot dog. It's called The Texas. He thoroughly enjoyed it. I didn't think to take a picture of mine, but I got a Bacon and Cheddar. It's a delicious hot dog wrapped in melted cheddar and bacon, served on a deliciously soft and moist bun. It was also thoroughly enjoyed.

Pickin' at the fries. He really was mostly playing with them. I mean, who wouldn't, right? Not many people know what to do when hundreds, perhaps even thousands, of fries are put in front of you? I imagine he thought they were toys. Either way, he ate a few, but mostly played with them. He also said Hi and Bye to every single person that walked through the door. He's quite a social creature.

Anyway, I probably have a lot more I could say. I know I do, actually, because I do spend a lot of my time thinking about what I'll write about each day, and I usually come up with billions of things to talk about. And most are actually probably more interesting than my period, but I needed to vent. haha So thank you for letting me vent, hope your periods are much more tolerable than mine, and have a good night. We'll see y'all soon!!

P.S. Pinot Grigio has changed a little bit! Still Arbor Mist Pinot Grigio...but I discovered another flavor...White Pear...and right now, it's taken the #1 spot over Island Fruits...it's SO GOOD!

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